Dedicated to for uploading old episodes of Kim Possible to Youtube years ago which got me hooked...it's all his fault
* March 2010 *
"Just look at that, Shego, 'TEAM GO REUNITING!' Front page, above the fold!" Drakken exclaimed with pride as he showed his partner the latest edition of the Go City Gazette. "It is so nice that your family has offered to bring you back into the family business during our time of change. And on top of it all, we're national news!"
"Time of change?” Shego asked with an eyeroll. “I still can’t believe that I agreed to join my brothers in their campy super club again as part of the pardon agreement."
"Oh, don't think of it in those terms, think of it as a new beginning! Though, I admit that it's a little bittersweet having to sell and move out of the old layer, but I mean, we're heroes now. A dark and drab fortress of a reformed evil genius doesn't really portray that image very well."
"Big whoop. Extra oop,” Shego droled. “We helped save the world THREE YEARS AGO. Ever since then 'those people' have been debating whether or not to erect statues of us or throw us in jail."
"No jail time here my dear," he assured digging through the front of his coat. "Remember they gave me a medal! See?"
"Yeah, yeah, and you haven't taken it off since they gave it to you."
"I wear it as a testament to the changes I have made in my life; a constant reminder to keep on the straight and narrow and to leave my evil ways behind. Straight and narrow, Shego, from here on out!" he shouted, dropping the boxes he was holding and proceeding to point his finger high in the air.
"Straight and narrow, straight and narrow. You say that EVERY day, Drew. Sometimes I think that whatever that medal is made out of is being absorbed into your skin and affecting your thinking ability."
"If it is than it's quite beneficial!" he boasted. "I haven't felt this confident since college."
"Good for you," Shego groaned picking up the boxes.
"Oh, by the way, I talked to Hego earlier today and he said that I can have a space in the basement and be Team Go's 'Q'."
"Oh, great, that's just what they need, new gadgets with an 80% failure rate. The four of them have trouble flying the GoJet as it is without you factored into the equation," she mocked while digging through an old box and pulling out her old Team Go mask and dusting it off.
"Shego, I am not caring for this negative attitude you are pulling. This is an opportunity to finally change our ways once and for all, and you are acting like it's a bad thing."
"Well, it's not like it’s your brothers that they're demanding we go shack up with, Drew. Did it ever cross your mind that there were reasons why I left the team in the first place?" she shot back as she bent over and pulled the hood over her head. "Hego, for example, is what we called in crime fighting circles as ‘Lawful Stupid’, then you have Mego who is a self-absorbed prick who cares only about himself, and the Wegos … well let's just say that for all of the angst I have ever had for Kim Possible, I …” Shego paused and sighed. “I might have just a … teeny … weeny … bit of sympathy for her because Princess has a pair of younger twin brothers who annoy her to no
"Lawful Stupid?" Drakken asked in reference to Shego's oldest sibling.
"Yeah, the moron is so obsessed with always upholding the law at any cost that he doesn’t always do the right thing," she remarked while pulling her long black hair out of the hood. "For instance, there was this time we were going after this villain named Phil Harmonic, expert in wave frequencies, had a thing for orchestra music, play on words, yada yada. Anyways, we were trying to stop him from using this earthquake gun on the city but he outsmarted us and we ended up falling into a trap."
"Yeah, Mego did something stupid and triggered it. Anyways, we were all tied up, flanked by Harmonic's two side kicks, dead to rights when another villain by the name of Dana Gerous dropped in out of nowhere and saved us."
"Yeah, Harmonic apparently had double-crossed her earlier in the week and she was looking for revenge. Anyways, to make a long story short, she freed us and together we took down Harmonic and his goons and saved the city. Again,” Shego said in a mocking voice. “So, what does the Lawful Stupid dumbass do? Instead of thanking her for saving our skin and making her a much-needed ally, he has her arrested and jailed along with Harmonic's crew because 'she was one of the bad guys'," she finished in a mocking impersonation of Hego.
"What happened after that?"
"That was final straw. I quit the team that night and broke Dana out of jail. The two of us ran off to Lowerton where we had a pretty nice partnership going on until she quit the life."
"Yeah, found love. She actually ended up marrying one of Harmonic's sidekicks of all things.
I never heard from her after that so I ventured out on my own until that fateful night at the Bermuda Triangle when I ran into you."
"I never knew that," he admitted while picking back up the boxes. "So, are we going to be able to coexist with your brothers or are we getting ourselves into a ticking timebomb?"
"Well, according to that lovely accord we agreed to we're going to have to make it work. That is unless you want to spend the next thirty years of your life with Frugal Lucre as a bunkmate," she said finally pulling her old hood up her neck and over her face.
Striking an overly cliche action pose, Shego asked her former partner in crime, "How do I look?"
"Like a hero my love," he said enthusiastically while grabbing her hand. "Like a hero!"
"Awh, that's so sweet, even if what you're saying is really stupid. Now help me load the rest of these boxes into the hovercraft, we're expected to be in Go City in three hours."
"Straight and narrow, dear! Don't forget it!"
"How could I?"
*** KIM POSSIBLE RIDES AGAIN ***
"A beautiful Friday afternoon with nine days of vacation looming and you're reading some stupid old law book?" Bonnie scoffed as she leaned against the table Kim was sitting at. "God, you're lame."
“Lame?” the former teen hero and current college junior asked her suitemate and current source of a headache. "No, Bonnie, what is lame is categorizing Grotius’ work as some ‘stupid old law book’. Besides, this will give me a leg up on that Intro to Public Law course I will be taking next term," Kim said looking up through her glasses at her old rival.
"Sorry, Kim, but reading Grossious, whoever that is, is not only lame, but it’s also boring."
"Well, not everyone is taking such challenging classes as Disney Film Appreciation and Aerobics like your highness."
"Hey! A degree in cinema appreciation is hard work, and unlike some people I actually care about looking good."
Kim conveniently ignored Bonnie’s second comment, since she hadn’t been working out much lately. "Yeah. I am sure it was excruciating writing that ten-page report on how Prince Eric from 'The Little Mermaid' was the epitome of male sex appeal in modern cinema."
Bonnie just grumbled a bit about stupid professors not appreciating the important aspects of cinema.
Kim smirked a little and tallied a mark under her name on the mental scoreboard she kept in her head.
"Regardless, all you ever do is study, study, study. I mean you don't even go off and save the world anymore. It's all law this or cultural that,” the brown-haired girl said disdainfully. “My gosh, have you even been out to a party this year?" she asked while pulling open her vest and exposing the Greek lettering emblazoned across her chest before joining Kim at the table.
"Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie," Kim breezily said while flipping her ponytail off her shoulder. It’s good form for the daughter of a rocket scientist and a neurosurgeon to keep up the tradition of being a well-educated, contributing member of society. As for my globetrotting, we’ve been over this before on how I decided that there were different and better ways to save the world than going on spy missions and crime fighting years ago. And as for partying, I went to that party with Ron just two weeks ago."
“K, that was not a party. That was a lame-o convention of your loser boyfriend and his fellow loser Upperton U culinary program nerds. ‘Hors devours of the World’? What a joke. They couldn’t even do something classy like a cheese and wine tasting.”
Kim just rolled her eyes. “Well, seeing that the majority of people there were under twenty-one they couldn’t actually do a wine tasting per something called ‘The Law’. Either way it was a great party. Furthermore, I am so through with your type of partying. I had enough of ‘Animal House’ over the last two years to last me three lifetimes.
"Yeah, yeah, so basically what you’re saying is that you're a legacy child who happens to be a has-been and a lightweight.”
Kim winced a little at that and put a tally mark under Bonnie’s name on the mental scoreboard.
“I, on the other hand, am going to be taking my spring break nice and easy and take in whatever comes down in Denver. And the only time I'll be 'getting a leg up' is if I can finally hook up with that super cute roommate of Jessica's boyfriend. Mmmmmmm."
"I really didn't need that visualization."
"Oh, but you really do K," Bonnie insisted leaning in. "He’s a former Marine, plays the guitar like a god and those abs. He's no Junior but you could wash your clothes on them."
"Uh huh, and remind me again why you and Senor Senior, Junior broke up?"
"Oh, give it a break, Kim. It was just irreconcilable differences, that's all."
"Riiight. Like you couldn’t reconcile yourself with the fact that Junior’s wealth disappeared along with his father’s when the market collapsed?"
"What do you take me for Possible? A gold digger?"
"Oh, no! I would never categorize you as a shallow, materialistic person,” Kim answered with sarcasm dripping from each word. “OH WAIT, now I remember what the irreconcilable differences were. He dumped you because he couldn’t reconcile the fact that you cheated on him."
"Okay, that was partially to blame. But in my defense he was never around,” Bonnie said after looking down in shame and sighing.
"Because, he was working three jobs to make ends meet."
"I had needs K, and in a moment of weakness I lapsed."
"With the entire soccer team?!?"
Bonnie closed her eyes for a second before haughtily looking back at her suitemate. "I don't see where you can judge me. If I recall, you and Ron had your share of rough times too."
Kim’s eyes bugged out and her jaw dropped. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Time out,” Kim said while making a T with her hands. “Our breakup was … complicated. We just both had some growing up to do, and the distance didn’t help. It … well, our … my priorities were different then. They were … off,” Kim finished weakly. Eyes blazing back to life, Kim continued, “But I want to get one thing straight. I may have done a lot of stupid things but I never cheated on Ron. Never!”
Bonnie simply held her hands up in surrender. “Fair enough. Little Miss flash-the-world and make-out-with-anything-on-two-legs didn’t show up until after you dumped him,” Bonnie added.
It was Kim’s turn to sigh and close her eyes for second. She tallied a point under each of their names on her mental scoreboard for that exchange, as she was reminded of how far she had fallen in those two years without Ron. “That’s all in my past, Bonnie. I apologized, Ron forgave me and we’ve been happily together ever since. So, my days of joining the college party scene are done,” Kim said before taking another sip of coffee.
"Yeah, I recall how you 'apologized' on our couch last Labor Day. Well, maybe on isn’t totally accurate. I mean not all of you was on the couch."
Kim blushed. Thank goodness Drakken was good now, because if there had been even a hint of aurora orchid spray within a mile of her she would have immediately disappeared that evening. "You're never going to let me live that down are you?"
"Why would I when I just love how flushed and awkward you get whenever it gets brought up?" Bonnie asked with a wink. "Personally, I think it’s a waste. Of all the people that you could be doing that with you chose Ron? Although, from what I saw that night ..."
“Enough!” Kim practically screamed with wide eyes and put another tally under Bonnie’s name.
Bonnie just smirked. "Personally, I'd rather be thrown off a cliff."
"That could be arranged," Kim mumbled as she pretended to go back to reading her book.
"Oh nothing, Bon Bon, just thinking out loud."
"Speaking of things best left unseen, isn't lover boy supposed to be coming down from Middleton for a few days?" Bonnie asked with narrowed eyes.
Kim gasped. "Oh no! What time is it?"
"Half past not caring," Bonnie remarked while admiring her manicured nails.
Kim growled and cursed herself for getting so caught up in competing with Bonnie. "You really are useless you know that," Kim said as she frantically dug in her backpack for her cell phone. "Shoot! It's 2:17! I've got to meet him at the bus stop in fifteen minutes."
"The bus stop? That’s right, I keep forgetting that the doofus never got a car."
"He’s never needed one.”
"Yeah, well, that bus stop is all the way on the other side of campus. So if you want to meet your Prince Charming as he makes his grand entrance on the short bus you better get a move on."
"Thanks for the help," Kim grunted as she shoved her book into her backpack, chugged the final bit of her coffee and hopped up from the table. "Gotta go."
"Ta ta." Bonnie waved with a sheepish, non-caring grin.
While Kim and Bonnie were having their conversation at the Student Union, a different conversation was taking place on the Eugene-bound Dachshund Line bus.
"I still think you're making a big mistake," Felix moaned over the videocall.
"KP deserves the best."
"I’m not questioning that, Ron. But, biggest isn’t always best. I mean, come on, that thing is a monstrosity."
"Felix, Felix, Felix. It isn’t a monstrosity. It is a physical symbol of how much I love Kim," Ron said holding up a small black velvet box containing an engagement ring topped with an exceptionally large diamond solitaire.
"Ron, Kim isn’t as shallow as to believe that the bigger the rock the bigger the love. She isn’t Bonnie," Felix moaned. "Besides, Kim's never been big on jewelry and I don't think she would be caught dead with something that big."
"Felix, my friend, KP's never been into big jewelry because she's never had a reason to wear it. But when she says 'yes' to this that’ll all change."
"Yeah … but … really Ron? This is overkill. One carat you might be able to get away with. But five carats? That’s not an engagement ring, that's a mortgage on a finger!"
Ron was silent for a second before responding to his friend. "Felix, the two of us have been through a lot. Kim’s been through a lot. I just want her to know how special she is to me. I want something that leaves her speechless every time she looks at it."
"Well, she would definitely be speechless,” Felix said with a sigh. “Whether or not that is a good thing I'm not sure. Honestly, Ron, as long as you didn't get her something that would rival a diamond you’d find on the end of a drill bit she’s going to know how special she is to you every time she looks at it."
"Yeah, it’s the thought that counts’ and all that, but if I have the money what else am I going to do with it? Kim had a good point, a lot of money isn’t going to make me happy. So, what better way to spend my money than on her?"
"Yeah well, I’m not exactly hurting for money either, but Zeta would still kill me if I spent that much on her ring. Ron, you could buy a small house for what you spent on that ring."
Ron blew a raspberry. "Not even close. I’ve been looking at houses in the Eugene area and they cost way more than this ring. Hey, we're pulling into the bus stop so I gotta go. Catch you later Felix!"
"Ron, I'm seri-" Felix was cut off as Ron closed the laptop, put the ring back into his pants pocket and began to collect his carry-ons.
"What?" Ron asked a scowling Rufus slouched over in the seat beside him.
*Too big,* the rodent chirped.
"Not you too. Rufus it’s for KP. KP!"
*Clueless,* Rufus squeaked before facepalming.
Kim sprinted across campus as fast as her feet would take her. She weaved in and out of students coming out of class and jumped over one on the ground strumming a guitar. She cut through the mall by swinging off of a pair of tree branches and then dove into the station just as the doors on the bus began to open. Out of breath and slightly out of shape, she bent over as the passengers slowly came off the bus and retrieved their luggage. Last off the bus was Ron, with a satchel slung over one shoulder and Rufus perched on the other,
"Hey, hey, KP, your Ron has arrived!"
Kim managed to collect herself and approached the duo to embrace Ron with a giant hug and a kiss followed by a little rub on the top of Rufus' head. "Hello boys, I've missed you so much! How was your ride down?"
"Meh, a little cramped and the seat was a little too close to the bathroom, but it's all good. What's important is that I am here and rea-heh-heh-dy for a long week off from school with my girlfriend! Booyah!”
"And … what's this?" Kim asked pointing to a small patch of facial hair growing below Ron's bottom lip.
"It's a soul patch, KP. Just tryin' something different that's all."
"It, makes you look Quinn," she replied, obviously unimpressed.
"Well, that's good right? He's still a big Hollywood icon, no?"
"Not since he had all of that trouble with the law a few years ago. Now he's more of a B-list actor making the rounds of sad reality shows. Trust me, a few producers approached me about joining him on one after...well, you know."
"So … you don't like it?"
"Not in the least there sport," she said, giving him another kiss and wink. "How about you go grab your things and we'll head back to the apartment?"
Ron nodded and ran to the other side of the bus to retrieve his luggage, leaving Kim and Rufus by themselves.
"So, Rufus," she started in an innocent tone. “How upset would you be if say me and Ron had some 'alone time' for a few hours?"
*B-but, but buddy ...* the rodent said tearfully.
"Aw, Rufus, I've missed you too, but me and Ron haven't seen each other since Valentine’s Day. It could get a little uncomfortable for you."
"Hey, you know what? We just had a new shopping center open up next to campus … and it has a Bueno Nacho."
Rufus simply blew a raspberry in response.
"I tell you what," she said pulling out her wallet. "What if I gave you $20 for a little shopping spree?"
*Hmmmm,* Rufus mumbled unimpressed.
"You drive a hard bargain, don't you? How about I make it $40?" she asked as she pulled out another couple of bills for added enticement.
*Um, Okay!* he chirped as he took the money, put on some sunglasses and bolted off in the direction of the mall.
Kim waved goodbye. "Don't get lost now!"
"Alright, I've got my bags,” Ron said before looking around. “Um...where's Rufus?"
"Oh, he got curious and decided to go explore. I'm sure he'll be fine." Kim smirked and grabbed his hand. "Shall we go?"
"Well, Drewbie, I believe that does it for this load," the former villainess remarked sliding a final crate into place on the back of the hovercraft. "Every gadget, gizmo, thing-a-ma-jig and whatchamacallit you've made or stole is packed up and ready to move."
"Excellent work, Shego."
She stepped back from the hovercraft and took a glance at the now empty layer which she had called home for almost a decade.
"Ya know, as much as I complained about this place's lack of windows, damp walls and the shark-infested waters surrounding it. I actually think I'm going to miss this place."
"Agreed. So many memories were made within the confines of these stone, cavernous walls. Creating a second ice age in the middle of summer, coming up with the mind-controlling shampoo, the time we built a growth ray."
"Or the time we had all of our equipment repossessed, you accidentally launching yourself into space, turning the lab into a jungle," she said with a wink.
"There you go again, always focusing on the failures instead of the achievements."
"Well, the achievements were somewhat few and far between."
"Oh yeah? Remember the Drakken Dippin Pops we came up with?"
"The ones the FDA forced off the marked because they contained five ingredients banned in the United States?"
"Yeah, well … they were mad successful for three weeks they were on the market."
"And may I remind you that Abraham Lincoln spent several years failing at life before being elected President."
"I hate to break it to you Abe, but they don't allow convicted felons to run for office. Typically they get the felon part after they're elected. Just be happy that you got a shiny medal and a plea deal …” Shego trailed off when she noticed Drakken looking around with a confused look. “What?"
"Did you hear that?"
"Well, here we are, home sweet home away from home," Kim said unlocking her apartment suite door and inviting Ron in.
Ron awkwardly looked at the walls, which were covered by various boy band posters and muscle-bound male models. "Wow, you've really … um … what's the word I'm looking for? 'Pop Cultured' it up since I last saw it."
"That would be the handy work of the new suitemate," she sighed.
"Hmmm, suddenly living with a toddler and parents isn't so depressing," he remarked gazing into the dead eyes of a shirtless Justin Bieber sprawled across a New York fire escape.
Kim unlocked her door and entered her bedroom which featured a much more tasteful decor. "Well, at least the inferior decorating ends at my room.”
"So where is everybody?"
"Everyone else is already gone for break, " she replied shutting the door behind her and sneaking up to her boyfriend to caress his shoulders. "Meaning that it's just. You. And."
Ron squealed with glee running to her television set. "Your brothers' Z-box! You've got it here with you? And you have the Pro Wrestling game too! Awesome!"
"Me …” Kim trailed off before grinning mischievously. “You know what? I think while you bust chairs over Steel Toe's head I'm going to go freshen up." Kim pulled her hair out of its ponytail, kicked her shoes off and headed towards the bathroom."
"Shhh, listen?" Drakken hushed her as he looked around the room. "It's a ... thumping sound. There it is again!" he exclaimed as another louder bang was heard echoing through the walls.
"Are we expecting company?" Shego asked as another thud was heard coming from behind them.
"Someone or something is outside the bay doors," Drakken said as he began to walk to the front of the hovercraft towards the sealed entryway. "It's probably Dementor trying to get into his new digs a few hours early. That little man can't even let me exit my place on my own terms."
Drakken proceeded to the bay doors and leaned against them to hear if the banging was indeed coming from them. Right as he put his ear to the wall a giant bulge dimpled the steel. The thudding continued, creating another bulge, and another and another.
"Who the heck is out there?!" Shego exclaimed from behind the hovercraft.
"I haven't the foggiest, but it’s definitely not Dementor. Too bad they won't get in. Those doors are twelve inches th-" Drakken was cut off by a strange sound which resembled a low whirring hum. Gradually, it increased in both volume and intensity. Something was charging up on the other side of the doors.
"SHEGO, GET DOWN!" Drakken screamed before a massive explosion blew through the bay doors and launched Drakken, Shego and the hovercraft high into the air.
"Oh, Rooooon," Kim called from her bathroom doorway modeling one of Ron's old jerseys which hung down to mid-thigh, "are you ready to get your spring break on?"
"Uh huh … yeah, sure!" he called from the bed, deeply engaged in a Texas Wind Deathmatch.
"Do you remember when you gave me this shirt? I sleep in it every night now."
"Yeah … cool!"
Kim seductively slid onto the bed behind her oblivious boyfriend and slowly made her way up Ron's body and began to gently rub his shoulders while he continued to play the video game. "You know Ron, it's been awhile since you and I had some 'us time’.”
"Yeah, uh huh ..."
"And I was thinking, since we're all alone and have an entire week of nothing planned, that we should lock the bedroom door and not emerge from it for one … whole … day," she said as she gently kissed up and down his neck. "What do you think about that?"
"Sure, KP. Absolutely. Totally agree. Boom! CHAIR SHOT!"
It became apparent to Kim that her boyfriend was completely oblivious to her advances and decided to catch him off guard. "And afterwards, we can go down to the mall and get matching Mickey and Minnie tattoos on our foreheads."
"Yep, sounds great, KP. Uh oh. Pain King's got a car door. *SLAM!*"
Kim gave a frustrated sigh. “Okay, I guess it's on to Plan B then," she said grabbing the television remote and changing the television input from the game to one of white static.
Ron snapped out of his tunnel vision. "Hey, what gives? Why did you do thaaaaaa ..." Ron trailed off as he finally noticed that his girlfriend was wearing nothing but his old jersey.
"Well, now that I have your attention, let me ask you again." she said pushing him backwards on the bed and jumping on top of him. "How about we get our break on?"
"I uh … um ..." Ron was in brain freeze as he became very aware that Kim was only wearing the jersey.
Kim gave a very big smile as Ron’s focus stuck on the bottom of the shirt as it rode up her hips. "Or do I need to be a little more persuasive?" she asked before slowly pulling the jersey off over her head.
Ron still seemed to be frozen. “Wow …”
Kim quited whatever he was about to say with a deep kiss. "Take me, Ron," she whispered gently into his ear before nipping his lobe.
Shego and Drakken crawled out from under the pile of debris and boxes which had buried them during the initial blast.
"What … the hell … was that?" she asked in between coughs.
"Not what, but whom?" a large deep voice boomed from the gaping hole in the wall where the bay doors once stood.
"Fine, and whom do I hold responsible for blowing up our layer then?" Drakken shouted in disgust. "We're still in the due diligence period!"
"Oh, nobody important," a voice replied as a large dark silhouette began to appear in the smoke and dust obscuring the breached wall. "It's just little...old...me...."
"Who?” Drakken asked before his eyes snapped open. “You?!?"
"That's right, Drakken. The prodigal son returns to his father with open arms."
Standing in front of the duo was a creature of immense size; standing well over seven feet tall and weighing several hundred pounds. His skin gave off a pale bluish hue and a mane of dark black hair flowed to the middle of his back. His body was covered in a purple hued armor with sets of spikes protruding from the shoulders. His face carried a terrifying snarl as white fangs protruded from his square jawed mouth while a pair of empty eyes glowed deep red."
"So um, Drew, would you like to tell me who your big blue 'prodigal son' of a friend here is?" a visibly shaken Shego asked.
"Well, um, my dear … do you remember when we agreed to no longer engage in unlawful and villainous activity?"
"Yeah," she replied stating the obvious.
"Okay. Well, do you also remember that time when the stock market collapsed and our 401k's took a hit?"
"Well, um, I might not have exactly adhered to that agreement and may have engaged in some shady back door cloning activities using a hybrid of DNA from dead Lowardians as well as some of my own."
"Hey, don't judge me. I was trying to make enough money for the both of us to get by."
"Oh, so instead of getting a real job or sticking to the plan, you decided to go behind my back and make Tiny here?"
"A real job? Shego, there ARE NO real jobs!” he yelled flapping his arms, “I had the technology down pat but it never made it to market because my prototype over there decided to break out of his incubation tube and head for the hills before I had a buyer."
"ENOUGH!" the intruder boomed, ending their squabble. "I'm going to make this short and to the point," he said pacing back and forth and pointing to Shego. "You're coming with me sweetheart, boss’s orders."
"Me? The hell I am!" she said in defiance. "Nobody tells me what to do or where to go! Especially some big hulking science experiment."
"I figured you'd say that," he said cracking his neck and popping his knuckles. "If you prefer to do this the hard way, I'm more than happy to have it arranged."
"I insist," she said as her hands ignited with the glow of green flames.
"Alright, your funeral."
"I don't plan on dying today!"
"Wasn't talking to you," the intruder smirked as a small cannon emerged from his shoulder armor and pointed towards Drakken. The move came to a shock to Shego as she quickly glanced over to her partner in crime who was wearing an equally shocked expression while a small green dot appeared on his chest. The shoulder cannon began to glow orange and emitted a low hum similar to what was heard behind the blast doors as it was powering up and then unleashed a powerful energy blast shot of it which hit Drakken with so much force it blew him across the room and through a wall.
"Avenge … me … Shego," Drakken whimpered through the hole in a weak and broken voice.
"Alright, asshole, nobody comes into our layer and pushes us around," she said with a vengeful charge on her assailant. He shot several more energy pulses from his canon but she dodged them and made it within striking distance of the intruder and began wailing on his chest and arms with little effect to show for it. The exchange resembled a been trying to sting a bear with Shego quickly landing more and more strikes across the intruder with little effect. Eventually, he picked up her attack patterns and countered her by grabbing her by the neck and pulling her several feet off the ground as she tried to break the hold and gasping for air.
"Then it pleases me to be the first," he said leaning in to face his victim.
Suddenly he jerked backwards and dropped Shego to the floor. Drakken had reemerged from the hole, jumped onto the intruder's back and began to strangle him with a large frayed piece of cable.
"Shego, move," Drakken shouted from behind the beast.
Gasping for air, she was able to roll out of the way while Drakken continued to swing wildly from behind. And although he had managed to free Shego from a crushed larynx, his strangulation tactic on the attacker appeared to have little effect. The intruder lunged backwards into a wall, crushing Drakken in the process with so much force that a cracked outline formed when they backed off of it. The resulting impact was too much for the reformed evil genius to bear and he let go of the cable and fell to the floor in a motionless heap.
Shego managed to crawl behind a pile of broken gadgets and watched helplessly as she watched the fiend lumber towards an old, large crate which had fallen out of the hovercraft. He picked it up as if it were empty, walked back to where Drakken laid, hoisted the crate high above his shoulders and slammed it down on the reformed villain. The crate seemed to explode in a storm of splinters which flew in every direction..
A tear rolled down Shego’s dusty face. "D … Dr. D?" she managed to get out in a quivering voice.
"Dr. D isn't here right now," the trespasser said as his red eyes glowed through the debris dust. "But if you have an Ouija board handy, you might be able to leave a message."
"You … you BASTARD!" she screamed, jumping out from the rubble and attempted a full-on assault which again appeared to have very little effect.
"I don't have time for this futile act of desperation," he said lifting up his arm and swatting Shego across the room like a rag doll into another pile of rubble where she laid motionless and groaning in pain.
Shego tried desperately to stand up but the impact was so hard it had knocked her senseless. Eventually she managed to get herself up on her hands and knees but when she looked up, she saw the dark shadow of her attacker standing over her.
"As this ‘bastard’ was saying, you’re...coming...with...me..”
"Boo … yah," Ron exhaled as a sweaty Kim dropped on top of his body. "That … that was amazing."
"I told you practice makes perfect," Kim replied before blowing a stray hair off her face and burying her cheek into Ron's chest. "I'd say we've come a long way since the tree house."
"No kidding! I mean … Wow! That thing. Should I be concerned about where you learned that?"
Kim just gave him a playful swat on the shoulder. "No! But you'd be surprised what you can find online these days," she said and chuckled.
***Edited because dA's "aging up policy sucks***
"HELL-OOOOOO Kimmie!" Bonnie said swinging the bedroom door wide open in complete disregard of the occupants. "I just wanted to tell you bye before I left for Denver. Hey, Ron, how's the quest for minimum wage going?"
"DAMMIT, BONNIE!" Kim yelled and quickly pulled the covers up over her body.
Unfortunately for Ron, he had been lying on the covers and thus fell out of bed.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something? " she asked in an obviously faked tone of concern.
"Oh, gosh darn it that's right, baseball cap on doorknob means you're busy studying, and the jacket means you're getting poked by Ron. Not the other way around. Silly me."
"Poked?" Ron asked in a dazed voice from the floor.
"Okay, okay, I'm leaving. Jeez chill out, Possible. Just don't forget to make sure everything is turned off and locked if you decide to go anywhere this week. Okay, bye you two!" the brunette said with a sheepish grin before pulling the door closed behind her.
"Stupid Bonnie. How can I be at a school with a student body of twenty-four THOUSAND people and I get stuck with her as a suitemate?"
Bonnie barged into the room once again. "OH, I forgot to tell you to make sure the trash goes out, to mail out the rent check by Thursday and if you two lovebirds decide to take your premarital relations outside of your bedroom; keep your oily asses off my recliner!"
Kim had had enough and in her anger grabbed the first object she could reach and threw it across the room at Bonnie.
Bonnie ducked under the flying game controller. "Whoa, someone's apparently not getting satisfied. Later losers!" she said before giving a mocking pageant wave and shutting the door.
As the door clicked shut again Kim grabbed one of her pillows, put it to her face and screamed into it, letting out a muffled yell of frustration.
A visibly pale Ron peeked up from the floor.
"I'm going to kill her," Kim moaned upon removing the pillow from her face. "I swear, supernatural forces from beyond this world are still punishing me for my actions last year."
Ron crawled back into the bed and joined Kim under the covers. "Yeah, you never told me exactly how Bonnie happened."
"After Haley dropped out last semester the school had to find a replacement.” Kim motioned at the now closed door. “It wasn’t too bad at first, but then a handful of weekends back when I came to visit you and the other girls were away she kind of took over. Hence the new living room decor."
"That sounds like her. Still how did she ever get in here? I thought you had to actually have decent grades to get accepted?"
Kim rolled towards Ron and gave him a deadpan look accompanied with a slightly raised eyebrow.
"Oh … yeah … right. Sorry," Ron nervously rubbed the back of his neck and gave a nervous laugh. He had completely forgotten about the previous two years of Kim’s life.
"What a way to kill the mood," Kim said with a sigh.
Ron gave Kim’s shoulder a gentle push so she would roll onto her shoulder facing away from him and spooned into her. Ron just held Kim closely, rubbing her stomach and laid in silence for several minutes until he felt her body relax and let go of her desire to send Bonnie to an early grave.
Kim smiled as Ron’s ministrations drained the aggravation out of her. It was one of the many things that she hadn’t even realized she loved about him until he was gone. Eventually, the earlier physical activity began to catch up with Ron and his encircling arm went slack across her waist as he began to doze off.
While her boyfriend’s body warmed her Kim glanced at various items adorning her walls. She looked at the old, tattered and autographed Global Wrestling Association poster of Pain King which was given to her as a thank you for defeating Anubus. Then glanced over at the picture of her shaking hands with President Obama as she received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, an honor he had bestowed to her upon retirement.
"Hummm yumm … yeah?" he asked drowsily as he woke from his nap.
"Do you miss it?"
"Miss what?" he asked as his hand started making tight circles on her stomach again.
"The old life. The missions. The villains. You know, saving the world. Do you ever miss doing that?"
"Eh, sometimes. Some days I think about it, but then I realized that the majority of those missions usually involved you saving me from some form of untimely death. So, it’s kind of a toss up.
"Not true. You came through for me a few times too remember?"
"Yeah, but you probably could have gotten yourself out of those with a little quick thinking. You always did."
Kim shook her head. "Don’t sell yourself short, Ron. There were several where there wasn’t any way out for me.”
Hearing the scowl in her voice Ron dropped it. "Why do you ask? Having second thoughts on retiring?"
"Sometimes," she admitted. "I guess it’s me just reminiscing when I was something more than just another face on a college campus, that’s all."
"Awh, KP don’t look at it that way,” Ron said after kissing her on the shoulder and increasing the size of the circles on her stomach. “You’ve accomplished more in the past 21 years than most people accomplish in their entire lifetime. Besides, you put away the majority of the most notorious villains before you called it quits. And for those few that are still out there, I’m sure Wade and that Ken guy have their numbers."
"Yeah, I guess."
"And how is that whole relationship going?"
"I assume it's going alright. Last time I talked to Wade they had been tracking some new guy. He didn't elaborate though. I guess since we're no longer having adventures anymore we've somewhat lost those privileges."
With those words, Ron suddenly thought that he had been given a great segway to propose to Kim.
Sensing a great time and opportunity, Ron rolled away from Kim and felt around the floor for his pants and the ring residing in the pocket. "Well, either way, KP I'm sure the world is in good hands. Besides,” Ron said before grunting and feeling around some more, “who's to say that your adventures have ended?"
Kim gave Ron a quizzical look, but shrugged it off as Ron just being Ron. "Well, no. I’m sure we’ll have other adventures. However, at the moment my studies are more important than globetrotting with Japanese toy moguls, secret ninja societies and getting special hair treatment in Paris.” Kim was quiet for a second as Ron pulled farther away from her and continued to reach toward the floor. “I do miss Francois and those magic fingers of his," she said rubbing her hand across her head.
"So that,” Ron broke off for a second as he moved away from Kim a little more, “explains the darker hair thing you have going on?"
"Unfortunately. Do you not like it?"
Ron continued to search around the floor. "I have to admit, I kinda like it. Makes you look mature."
"You're cute." she said before grabbing Ron as his search made him teeter on the edge of the bed and almost fall out. "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing, just trying to find something," an increasingly nervous Ron replied as his hand finally landed on his discarded pants. " So, Kim," he started while looking through the pockets, "you and I have been classmates, best friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, and lovers. Well, I love you and you mean the world to me."
Kim's confused look gave way to a smile. "Awh, Ron. I love you too."
"I’ve ... I’ve thought about it for a while and well, KP..."
"I guess, what I’m trying to say is, wi … wil … wh … where is it!?"
Ron's nervousness began to give way to sheer panic as it became obvious that the ring box and its contents were not where he had left them. His fears became realized when he slid his hand into the last of the pockets and two of his fingers poked out of the bottom exposing a hole..
"Oh no!" he shrieked under his breath.
"Ron, sweetheart? Are you alright?"
"I um … um … I uh ..." Ron fumbled for a recovery.
*BEEP BEEP, Beep Beep!*
Ron jumped on the distraction. "Did you hear that?"
*BEEP BEEP, Beep Beep!*
"Is that your Kimmunicator?"
"Yeah, but it hasn't gone off in almost a year," she said while quickly throwing the jersey back on and digging through the drawer of her nightstand to retrieve the old, dust covered device.
"Seriously? What kind of batteries did he put in that thing?" Ron asked as he rolled out of bed and retrieved his boxers.
"Who knows with him," she remarked, fidgeting with her hair before answering the page. "Wade? What's up?"
"Hey, Kim, long time no see, talk, chat, tweet."
"I know, seriously. What’s up? Is something wrong?"
" Well, um … we have a situation, and it might be a rather big one."
"Is this something you can’t handle?"
"Well, we thought it might be best that we bring you and Ron back in for this one. If you two are up to it, of course.”
Kim gave Ron a quick glance, to which he gave a thumbs up. “Sure, we’re in.”
“Good. Some things have happened which we think you should know about. I’ll radio a jet to bring you in and then it can swing by Ron’s house to pick him up. Can you be ready for pick up near Autzen Stadium in about an hour? I know you no longer have your mission gear so just come as you are."
Kim glanced down at her minimalist attire and whispered, "Yeah, not going to happen.”
“What's that Kim?”
"Um, nothing. I think the stadium is just ten minutes away. We can be there earlier.”
“Well, I figured I’d give you some more time since I seemed to have woken you up. Wait, it’s like three in the afternoon …” Wade trailed off as his face scrunched up in confusion. “What are you doing in bed at …” Again the young tech guru trailed off and then his eyes shot wide open. “We?” Suddenly his eyes became shifty and a devilish grin spread across his face. "Hiii Ron … enjoying your break?"
The redhead slumped down in slight embarrassment while Ron peered over her shoulder and into the Kimmunicator.
“Indubitably, Wade!” he crowed, flashing a thumbs up.
"Whoakay, boys, time to say bye to Ron’s conquest," she said abruptly ending the transmission and turning to her boyfriend with a scowl.
Kim shook her head. "It looks like we're coming out of retirement," she said throwing the Kimmunicator onto the bed and heading towards the bathroom.
"Where are you going?"
"To take a shower. Not that Wade hasn't caught wind of what we've been doing, but I am a little sweaty," she said passing through the door and throwing the jersey back out into the room. "Does Rufus still have that little pager of his? If so you might want to get in touch with him to let him know what's up."
"Yeah, got it KP."
With his love out of view and the sound of running water coming from the shower, Ron frantically began looking on the floor for the missing ring. He lifted the mattress, tossed the sheets and started going through various containers but to no avail. The ring had been lost.
"Well, so much for that idea," he said with a sigh.
Kim's disheveled head appeared in the doorway to the bathroom. "You do know that my shower has room for two right?" she offered with a suggestive wink before disappearing back out of sight.
Ron's dejected look quickly transformed into a grin. "Boohyah."
-End Chapter 1-