Fix It!

Next installment of the Stoppable Honeymoon Series.

We last left, the newlyweds have been struggling to salvage what is left of Ron's poorly planned honeymoon in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee...

So far they've lost their luggage, had to buy new wardrobes, are booked in a sleazy romantic motor lodge, and to top it all off, they were stranded in the middle of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park, completely naked after a family of raccoons ruined a romantic, secluded skinny dip.

Now, granted Kim has been a sport and tried hard to enjoy everything, however having to hike 5 miles out of the woods wearing a birthday suit, and then walking another 5 miles down the highway (through the most visited National Park in the country) with only makeshift clothing made out of garbage found along the roadside, officially wiped out any good that those hours of hot tubbing and passionate lovemaking may have achieved.

Tired, sore, embarrassed, and aggrivated beyond belief, Kim sinks into the room's hot tub after getting a new key from the front office and commences to sit, not saying a word, but merely propping her head above the water and staring at Ron's direction.

Ron, now showered up, and changed into new clothing, knew that although his wife did not emit a single word as she looked his way, was metaphorically speaking in tongues with the thickness of her pupils and lack of movement. He would ask if she was okay, no response; would ask if she would like for him to get her food...again, no response. Worried, he asked her if she was "done" with the honeymoon...and again, she kept the same stare, no movement except for her toes which wagged back and forth slowly as if they were battling an impulse to crack the porcelin tub walls.

Ron knew his wife wanted to go home, or at least get as far as possible away from the horrible choice he had made to spend their honeymoon at. He already feared Kim's puppy face, this....rottweiler face she had just now found shook him to his core, and began to question if all of those urban legends about gingers and their ability to devour souls might have some truth to them.

Ron, slumped with his back away from his stewing wife, whipped out Kim's old Kimmunicator which she had brought with them and desperately tried to reach Wade for a bail out.

Does Ron reach Wade? Does Wade (or someone else) save the day and the honeymoon? Does Kim decide to wear her husband's severed head for a hat? Find out next time!

Enjoy!

~HR